Colorism and Dating more Questions that Have no Answers
So in light of my last blog lets pull it out of the ether and make it more personal.
Lets talk about Dating.
as was discussed in my last post we talked about the one drop rule and colorism as it pertains to showing appreciation for the breadth of black beauty
so when we go out looking for potential mates one night only or otherwise clearly colorism plays a huge part. clearly we can see how it has manifested in terms or regular society but it takes on a whole new dimension when we speak of it in terms of the "conscious community".
Many of "us" are so repulsed by the white european standards that have been hammered into our skulls that as we gain and begin to apply knowledge of self some of us have a tendancy to flip colorism upside down and that is still problematic in my eyes. For me as a black person born in america. Blackness is honor and privilege bestowed only on the people who have the heritage and are willing to claim and walk in that heritage. Even historically skin tone has run a wide variety of shades. So flipping the tables and elevating the darkest sista over the lightest sista is doing every sista a disservice. Either way this practice places a skin color as a fetish when really we should be concentrating who she is in her heart.
still a whole lot of grey area. If i happen to get with a girl whos skin is of a lighter skin tone or she a loose curl pattern to her hair am i chasing a European beauty standard no matter what kind of person she is? Or is reinforcing the blackness of my skin tone with a darker skinned sista the epitome of relationship choices because its the furthest thing from white.
5 comments:
I don't think it's that difficult to tell if you ask yourself why you are attracted to a person. Is it for her mind, hair, or skin? Also, if you find yourself attracted to a type of girl with the same physical features again and again, then colorism is most likely playing a role
I can tell you off top that I've dated around the spectrum. It's nothing to brag about, uphold yourself to a different mindset, or to dismiss. The problems come when we look at color and status and decide what will get me accepted, what will get me banished, and what may I really feel about this person. You ultimately control who you choose to love. There is a general biase in that due to the ways black people can make our babies turn out to be stunning. That goes for males and females. It's a separation anxiety that gets our people thinking of why we like something. Second guessing. Are we losing touch with ourselves? Are we pure African or just a percent? It's harder on us to live cause people are hell bent on saying what they aren't, and they are not concentration on what they could become.
Ive always been attracted to darker toned people but I come from a legacy of deep rich brown people so I accredit my love for that ideal to them.But overall my preferance is what the creator sends me. NeonSaturn
For me the color is not important, what matters is how you feel with the person and how good she can be.
well in the dating case is always a ferocious fight, no matter the girl you always must be prepare for any twist in the actitude or will of the girl.
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