Nappy Headed Black Child

Boxes are the conceptual frame work by which a person defines themselves.

Essentially your boxes are the things that come after an "I am a" statement. For example here are what my boxes are

Male x
Black x
Christian x
Member of Phi Beta Sigma
Church boy x
Wrestler
Being From the 757 x
Being a Holloway x
Inner City student x


Everything with an x next to it are things that i did not choose for myself. Now think about this. Majority of what i am and what has controlled my self perception for the better part of my 22 years i did not choose. Thats Scary.

If i can control how a person defines their world. I can control them. Thats unacceptable to me.

So i started over....all the way over. And started learning about who i was. For the first time i started looking at things through the eyes of my stolen culture and all this other stuff really became unsustainable. It was only there because i had no knowledge of what my history is there so who i was, was built from the scraps i was given.

This isnt easy. what i didnt consider is that these self definitions are structural frameworks that hold back uncertainty. One of the worst feelings in the world is being uncertain and uneasy about everything. Its not fun. But im working through it.

I feel crazy a lil unstable...but hey..Im free.